Why
do we wait till someone passes away before appreciating the good things?
“Making one person smile can
change the world –
maybe not the whole world,
but their world."
I hear about relatives,
friends or close college mates who pass away … sometimes suddenly; only good
things come to my mind...special things which I took for granted and never said
to them.
And then you hear
people say how good so and so has been, how talented he or she has been or how
much useful he has been to the community.
It got me
thinking- what is the point in anyone saying good things about anyone after
demise as in my eulogy, except to be just formal.
It serves no one
any positive purpose when good things
are said when they are gone...at least to the person who died. Certainly he or
she won’t be there to hear it.
It is definitely
good to tell people who are alive and kicking … how much you appreciate them,
how well they are doing and that really makes the latter person perform better.
A friend of mine
posted in FB how her colleague gave money unexpectedly for charity all of
sudden, when it was badly needed… this surprised her. She thanked him
profusely. This will indeed make the donor a better person and continue to
carry on his good deeds.
Certainly, when
someone passes away, we should say good things about them…it is expected of us.
It is a good time to remember and celebrate in memory of the deceased person. I
am not denying this good habit and by all means it should continue!
But taking this
further, all I am saying is that we must appreciate openly good things about
the people close to us when they are still living (friends, neighbors,
colleagues, for instance). This will bear fruit for the giver and the receiver.
It cements a healthy relationship between people and makes others look up to
both of them.
And I mean
appreciating without expecting anything in return. Appreciation of any deed
expecting a reward is plain flattery and this is not what I refer to.
A select group of
people who actually practice this all the time are the musicians … who openly
admire the other - singers or players. They congratulate each other; this
certainly improves the team performance and good will.
After all,
Christmas season is here- season of good will!
eulogies often ignore the less desirabe qualities of people and only focus on the good qualities.
ReplyDeleteI once wrote a piece for my cousin who had died. She and her mother (my aunt) did not always see eye to eye and often relations were very strained. I mentioned this in my piece and many of my relations were shocked! I felt to say otherwise was hypocrisy and said instead that they loved each other inspite of their difference... which was the truth!!
Sometimes when I listen to eulogies I am uncomfortable. The praise is sometimes undeserved and I would find it difficult to do that. I hope no one ever says untruthful things about me when I am gone. I would consider it an honour to be described truthfully!!!
I agree with you fully Easterine. Insincere praise should be avoided. One can be truthful without being offensive. Susheel
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