DEPRESSION IN OUR DOG AFTER DEATH OF HER PARTNER

 DEPRESSION IN OUR DOG AFTER DEATH OF HER PARTNER

Our German shepherd dog past couple of days, vocalized throughout the nights in a mild mourning fashion - not howling like dogs generally do. Over the past week she had some loss of appetite and ate very little. Even during the day, over the past few weeks, she used to come and mourn a lot to all of us in the family. This was quite different from her normal reserved self.

USED TO BE A RESERVED GSD

She started  to dig out the garden a great deal and recently used to come closer and lie down. Before that, she was a typical German Shepherd Dog (GSD) who used to keep a distance between her and me even while walking. But now her behaviour is more clingy and more docile to me. To outsiders, her behaviour is still the same.

She had lost her partner, an affectionate GSD about 3 weeks ago. Both of them had been with our family as pups . They used to hang out together all the time, eat together and play together.

HER PARTNER WHO PASSED AWAY

I examined her - no lumps or tenderness. Her temperature was also normal. The veterinary surgeon who examined her thoroughly also did not find any physical abnormality.

Depression in dogs occur for various reasons - one of them being the death of another household dog / pet. 

The symptoms of depression are decreased activity, refusal to feed, changing the place of sleeping, vocalisation as seen in our dog who normally is very quiet. Some dogs become more quiet. Some lose interest in taking a walk outside. 

Treatment consists of  taking more time to spend with the pet, and speaking to her. Generally with a lot of TLC, the depression is taken care of after a period of time - duration varies on the particular dog - days, weeks. 

LOT OF TLC

If nothing of the above works, medication may help. As always, vet surgeon has to rule out physical disorders and prescribe the medication.

Depression in dogs may sometimes take as long as a year.

MUSIC DURING COVID

                                        MUSIC DURING COVID

(Pic from internet)

Musicians in general depend on live performances, gigs and audiences.  The singers and instrumentalists live for the live crowds, audience appreciation and applause.

They prepare meticulously for months first with music alone, then as small groups, then with singers, later with choreography and finally in live theater with lights and sound. Mind you all these, even before going in front of the audience!

Covid has killed all this!

No crowds to watch you.

No groups to practice with.

One feels depressed and the feeling is akin to alighting alone at the village platform from a high speed express train!

It is well known that one needs to constantly practice to be in decent shape!

“If I don’t practice for one day, I know it

 If I don’t practice for 2 days, my critics know it

 If I don’t practice for 3 days, the public knows it!” Jascha Heifitz.

So what is the motivation for practice?

As a first rule, one must play music for oneself. Probably music came into the world for this reason, for your own joy and happiness! And then the spirituals came in when life was difficult and groups used to sing together, to overcome difficulties. It is time again, to love your own music during covid time, so that, others too would love your music, after covid is gone!

How does one go about this?

Like always, it is best to set apart time for practice.

There are no goals during covid times… no concerts, no events!

If no time is set for practice, it is easy to laze around and to fritter away the abundant time!

As for material, there is enough and more to practice!

Scales, arpeggios, studies, old repertoire, new pieces and of course Bach. If one plays by ear, there is so much of internet music to choose from.

There are enough backing tracks to make a good presentations of what you can play.

You have to set your own standard, as the famous man said, “There is no such thing as perfection. There are only standards. And when you have set a standard, you learn it was not high enough, you want to surpass it”. 

So set your own standard, and keep shifting the musical goal posts all the time!

Technology has taught violinists for instance, to record on one track, even with a mobile phone; and then add the second violin to it … to make it a duet. If one plays other sting instruments, the entire string quartet can be played by a single person and recorded!

One also plays on occasions for virtual choral numbers and large instrumental pieces, but they are far and few in between. Negative aspect is that it is a bit like singing in the wilderness. You play/sing your part today and wait for many days, to hear the final product. So this really is only a minor part of practice.

As musicians , one cannot stop practicing, even when we know covid will not go away soon. It will be months before the real shows begin, concerts return and the live applause rings in the air. Till then, viral publication of your solos, your duets and the such in the social media, will not only motive yourself, but also others in continuing their own practice schedule in solitude!

David Oistrack, when asked about any new insights about violin playing, said, “Yes, …. just…play!”

And this, we must!

APPA'S EASY CHAIR

 Appa’s Easy Chair

"Let's sit quiet a bit, Toady!" said the Rat, throwing himself into an easy chair, while the Mole took another by the side of him and made some civil remark about Toad's delightful residence.

1908: Kenneth Grahame, The Wind in the Willows 

In the seventies, I remember my father lying in an easy chair in the nights, a bit tired. He used to tell me about some main events, trials in his life. I was a young medical student then, not always receptive however, like most adolescent sons!

Though mostly amusing, the discussions had been educative, instructive, advisory in nature. He was a traditional strict dad.

His main words were, “Always, put in the best effort.Be wise as a serpent, but harmless as a dove”

He himself was a self made man and had worked hard during life; he took on 4 jobs after his retirement, to put me through a medical college education and my sister through mathematical higher education.

More than 2 decades had passed since his demise. 

I was looking through the attic the other day. I found a carefully packed easy chair. It was my father’s. I had not seen an easy chair, leave alone his, for many years. 

Thanks to covid, one gets a new overview of life! 

I took it upon myself to look for a cloth for the easy chair. The cloth I found was too long.With considerable difficulty,I located a tailor to alter it to fit the chair. Sadly due to my own stupidity, I had z small part of the chair cracked up, while setting it up 😷.

The furniture shop opposite to my house, glued it and gave it back. With the remark, would I be interested in selling it to them, because it was made of wood that you hardly ever get nowadays. 

I had never paid any attention to the type of wood; then I remembered my father once saying that he had the easy chair done out of rose wood as it would last a long time!

Late last evening, I finally took the easy chair out into the garden for a trial and sat out for half hour. 

It was cool, after the rains during the day. The jasmine smell was strong in the air. My new vigour in gardening had helped to blossom all sorts of flowers. I sat in a partially lit area considering the recent rains and the puddles, along with two of my German Shepherd dogs. 

It was wonderful to sit in my father’s easy chair, 25 years after he had left. And I don’t know how long he had the chair. It was in the family as long as I could remember.

It was very relaxing 😍, well, at least till the mosquitoes arrived on the scene. I beat a hasty retreat into the house!

5 minutes later, there was a knock at the door. The watchman showed me what he found at the spot where I was sitting… a large scorpion! 😳

Apparently it was moving across the floor , when the GSDs partially bit it with violent tossing of their heads. He managed to pry the scorpion away from the dogs, but a bit too late!

My father’s words rang through my mind, “Be wise ( cautious)” . I am sure he meant it in a different context. But even in this situation, I had chosen the lit area for sitting out, as the sun had gone down. I was  acutely aware of the dogs, as they always pick out reptiles around earlier than humans, rain or no rain. 

Some might have attributed this to karma!

If I had been sitting out for a bit longer, I might have picked up the scorpion in ways more than one 😩. I could not  help but thank  the mosquitos silently, for persuading me to go indoors!

So it is good to be cautious even when totally relaxed in a traditional easy chair, covid or no covid!😊

THINGS TO DO FROM HOME IN THESE VIRAL TIMES!😷🤧

Things to do from home in these viral times!😷🤧

It is real testing time for home makers now!

No schools!

No movies!

No large gatherings (pools, game parks)

No places of worship

All the kids at home

Adult folks working from home!

Social distancing!

I have made up a tentative list of things to do from home for adults of all ages, children, teenagers! 

This is a biased list of my own ( My TV was disconnected from channels a year ago - as the news and the movies were too violent!) and I acknowledge help from internet also to make this list!

• Arrange old photos / slides and videos.
• Bake a casserole. 
• Browse current news on computer, politics,chat shows,comedians,celebrity on the net.
• Browse newspapers / magazines.
• Clean out your Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc.
• Clean something in your bike, your microwave, your shed.
• Climb up the steps to upstairs and down at least 5 times a day ( within reason).
• Color, or draw or take up painting.
• Compose 1/many poem/s.
• Delete old emails and keep up with computer house-keeping.
• Do 25 push ups daily, iron man - 20 sec to 60 seconds.
• Drink lemon tea.
• Drive to a park / woods/ beach/ nature spot you've never been to.
• Eat snacks in bed.
• Experiment with old traditions like hand washing laundry, like making Thovaiyal paste on Ammikallu.
• Focus and Meditate.
• Get an activity ball / Stretch.
• Get an organizer and make a to- do schedule with time frame.
• Get yourself a haircut / pedicure. 
• Go for a hike somewhere you have not been.
• Go for a walk,sit-ups, for exercise. 
• Go fruits/ snacks or grocery shopping.
• Hunt for a new favorite quote and make an image with it, share with friends.
• Keep a schedule for doing at least 100- 500 pages of schoolwork or future projects.
• Learn / Practice yoga.
• Learn a new foreign language (German/ French).
• Learn computer soliloquy, sudoku.
• Learn dancing.
• Learn Hindi.
• Learn how to make animation movie.
• Listen ro FM radio.
• Listen to one TED talk a day.
• Listen to podcasts.
• Long tub bath or shower.
• Look to adopt a pet (even just a fish).
• Make a cocktail.
• Make a future finances plan.
• Make a list of people you meet daily whom you wish to spend most / least time with.
• Make a list of your positives and negatives.
• Make a movie of your past photo albums for the family and play for them with music.
• Make a trip on road on your bike car alone or with family once in 2 days.
• Make lists of stuff you normally don’t list.
• Make your own website.
• Meal / dessert preparation for next week. 
• Order an activity wrist watch to monitor your activities like walking, heart rate, etc.
• Pet care - give regular baths/ immunisation checks/ parasite medication/ tick meds.
• Phone a friend or relative out of reach for a while.
• Plan a skit, musical and video it.
• Play badminton with your kids.
• Read a book of self improvement, fiction, documentary.
• Read one story to your child, grandchild everyday .
• Redo your furniture or cupboard. 
• Religious folks to revisit Bagavath Gita, Koran or Bible as applicable.
• Research dream careers. 
• Sign up for a class. 
• Sit /lounge outdoors in good weather.
• Sketch a vision board.
• Sort out your old clothes or toys or furniture to your local charity.
• Stage a photo shoot.
• Start a blog.
• Start a garden or kitchen garden.
• Start a new do it yourself project.
• Start your LinkedIn profile/ sharpen it.
• Take a bubble tub bath.
• Take a nap.
• Teach your child a new game.
• Try a face mask or beauty product. 
• Try for a virtual part-time or freelance job.
• Try out a new hairstyle or experiment with your hair.
• Try out something new like audiobook or video blog or computer game.
• Update your curriculum vitae.
• Visit with a new ice cream or coffee shop nearby.
• Walk 5000 steps per day.
• Walk or play with a dog.
• Wash your car/ bike/ dust your furniture and sofas on a regular schedule.
• Watch a how-to YouTube video to learn something new in your own hobby.
• Watch movies on YouTube/ Adobe prime.
• Watch Netflix movies.
• Watch the stars, moon, sunset or sunrise.
• Write a letter to your future self.
• Write a poem or write in a journal.
• Write an article/ book or story.
• Write what you would like have liked to be if not the present occupation.
• Write your will.

IKIGAI - REVIEW OF A BOOK THAT MATTERS!

IKIGAI

My friend visited me from Trinelvel recently. He always suggests good books to read. Ths time it was on IKIGAI!

As soon as Dr Venkatesh Babu left, my son ordered it and of course, the book is outstanding.

The book is full of crystallised ideas, easy to understand in simple language. 

I wonder if it is only for the middle aged or the seniors. I would have been happy to have read in my younger days, had the book been written earlier!

A few of the salient points of the book are mentioned here.

However, I have not touched upon the chapter on various methods of physical exercise mentioned in it, as I guess anyone wanting to know more, can buy the book.

It is a book that makes you pause, wonder how to lead a useful life beyond 50 years of age.

Stress can kill and has caused death in much younger age;  and so this book benefits the mature human being of any age. 

‘The Japanese Secret to a Long and Happy Life by Hector Garcia and Francesc Miralles.

The book is of pocket sized ( a big pocket that is ;-)  )

It has only 185 pages in 9 chapters, in easy-to-read print, published in 2017.

We are young always,........ later on, we think we are still young ( when others know it is no longer true), and then we grow old chronologically! Fact of life!

IKIGAI or ‘raison d’être’ is something deep inside us. 

Some of us know it; others don’t! Others are still looking for it!

At any age, IKIGAI brings to you satisfaction, happiness and meaning to your lives!

WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T RETIRE

What does one mean by that statement? With improving care, people are living longer. So how does one still remain happy in advanced age, not being a burden to others.

Is it that you just want to live longer or do you want to have a purpose when you live longer? That is the question!

In Japan, the secret is in 5 steps:

1.Eat in small plates, rich in vegetables and tofu, maybe with 1/2 glasses of wine per day.

2.Live in close knit families

3.Moderate exercise like walking, gardening, playing with grandkids

4.Find the purpose in life as in steps below  doing something you love or have a passion for

5.Reduce stress levels.Consume less meat, less processed food.

ACTIVE MIND , YOUTHFUL BODY

'Sound mind in a sound body'!

How do you exercise your brain?

• Do something new, learn a skill
• Interact with others
• Play a game with new stimuli
• Avoid stress; stress is a killer!

A LOT OF SITTING AROUND WILL KILL YOU. So

• Walk to work, or just go for a walk 20 min a day
• Use a feet via the stairs in preference to the elevator
• Participate in social activities , not in television
• Replace junk food with fruits
• Get enough sleep
• Play with kids, or join a sports team
• Be conscious of daily routine and have positive habits.

ANTIAGING ATTITUDES

Mind has tremendous power over body.

Positive attitude and high degree of emotional awareness are vital.

A stoic attitude - serenity in the face of a set back

GO WITH THE FLOW

• Bruce Lee’s famous comment “Be water, my friend!”
• How to go with flow?
• Knowing what to do
• Knowing how to do it
• Knowing how well you are doing
• Knowing where to go
• Perceiving significant challenges
• Perceiving significant skills
• Being free from distractions>

MEDITATION OF ANY TYPE HELPS 

1. Calms the mind
2. We learn to observe our thoughts and emotions
3. We learn to centre our focus on a single object.
4. 
   

Living for a long time does not mean anything, unless you have a purpose. 

FOLLOWING ARE THE ADVICE BY LUCID CENTURIONS 

• Eat and sleep, you’ll live a long time. Learn to relax.
• I have never eaten meat in my life.
• Everything is fine
• If you keep your mind and body busy, you will be around for a long time
• I just haven’t died
• Never stop learning

JAPANESE HAVE A UNIQUE CULTURE OF PRESERVING TRADITIONS RATHER THAN MATERIAL THINGS SUCH AS IN THE WEST!

1. Community life with friends
2. Food doesn’t help you to live longer 
3. Secret is smiling and having a good time!
4. Celebrate your life even with a birthday party beyond 80 years
5. Each day is a day to celebrate together
6. Be optimistic
7. Live a unhurried life

THE RULES of IKIGAI are summarised in

1.Stay active, don’t retire

2.Take it slow

3.Dont fill your stomach ( only 80%)

4.Surround yourself with good friends

5.Get in shape for your next birthday

6.Smile

7.Reconnect with nature

8.Give thanks

9.Live in the moment ( not past or future) &

10.Follow your IKIGAI

DO YOU NEED A COACH? .... DON’T YOU ?!

DO YOU NEED A COACH?  ....  DON’T YOU ?!

INTRODUCTION

Some popular wrong concepts -

        Coaches are only for beginners! 

        Coaches are only for only the young!

        When you get a degree, you are an expert!

       As you become a senior by age or job, you are an unqualified expert! By then you know everything!

       What do the young know anyway to teach you? 

       Coaches are needed only in sports and not in real life!

       In this ever growing world, where the source of knowledge appears to be only ‘Google’, we know everything!

These are some of the common misconceptions in life!

These are the beliefs of many people! 

If one is involved in a profession where one has to physically perform, where results are direct products of manual crafts, improvement is always possible!

DO YOU NEED A COACH?

Coach is one who helps you to develop to full potential and to maximise your strength.

Though the term is mainly used in sports, this term to applies to every aspect of life where one wants to do better.

HOW CAN A COACH HELP YOU?

Coach can help you to stop wasting time and help you to improve growth and output.

All of us can do better.

When you change, everything changes.

When you realise that there are limitations in your technique and approach, improvements occur tremendously.

Coach - analyses your strength and weaknesses

           -  points out where there is room for improvement

           -  works on your weaknesses with suggestions, exercises

           -  maximises your strength 

           -  sometimes alters your beliefs and behaviour too.

YOU, BEFORE COACHING

We all have our own attitudes to life, with its attendant failures and successes. Our firm beliefs are based on individual experiences. We need to realise that our own experience is not unique. It may be more common than you believe.

One should have room in the heart to believe that someone, who is experienced in this aspect would be able to help one to excel.

If you, on the other hand believe that you are already the best in your field and will always remain so, then you do not need a coach!

WHY DO WE NEED A COACH?

Anyone wanting to excel in what he does, needs a coach.

A top rated teenage musician achieved a lot of talent on his own. He went abroad and realised that there were much better musicians around. He took on a teacher ( coach), but soon realised latter could help in some areas only. So at present, he is also taking coaching with his teacher’s teacher! 

Another example is the Indian cricket team. Indian team has top players. They have coaches who travel with them, analyse the play, discuss how to do better with each match. They also to a large extent, discuss food, exercises, assess moods and mundane repeats of exercises at regular intervals during off seasons too - to keep them in shape. As we know, there are  different coaches for bowling, batting, fielding, etc - showing how depending on the speciality, more than one coach may be required.

HOW DO YOU CONDITION YOURSELF 2 BE COACHED?

When one aspires to be specialist, one needs to keep doing the basics right!

Fundamentally, function of a coach is to reinforce the basics and make you keep doing the basics right all the time. This itself may be good enough in most situations, be it a game, music, studies or even profession!

On top of this, there are newer developments in every field, the so called advances! 

It is the function of the coach 

-to identify the advances and

-to expose the players, professionals to these advanced technique, so that nothing is wanting.

WHAT THEN ARE THE QUALITIES OF A GOOD COACH?

Each human being is different.

Hence a coach need to be malleable enough to adjust to each  player's or professional’s whims and fancies.

At the same time, he has to be rigid enough to rigorously put them to routine exercises, through scheduled hours of work and knowledge.

He should also have the time to be a be able to sit with the candidate throughout his roller coaster journey! If the coach is too busy with his own interests and has no time for you, he is not fit to be your coach.

Needles to say coach should have high degree of knowledge and skill in the speciality.

He should discuss the strategy in the field of sports of the opponent teams and exploit their weakness. Hence his knowledge and skill in the field is important.

NOMENCLATURE OF THE COACH

Coaches in life, by different names!

The word coach is commonly used in sports.

Teacher is a better term in school!

‘Thalaivar’ ( chief) is an unofficial term used in community!

Priest is a term used in religion!

Mentor is the term of a surgeon who guides in a new technique for initial cases! (only)

These may suggest identification of coaches, as the person needs to fit the bill. Some do , some don’t!

WHO NEEDS A COACH?

In sports, role of coaches is clearly defined.

But unfortunately in many other professions, not so much.

As one gets older in experience, you refer to them as advisor or a consultant!

Roger Federer has a coach in tennis, top basket NBA ball teams have coaches….. not because they are rich, but because they want to excel in what they do and to remain on top!

Coaching centres exist for higher eduction - medical graduates , IAS candidates, etc. 

DO YOU NEED A COACH EVEN IF YOU ARE A SENIOR?

Should your advanced age stop you from getting a coach? Not really!

Anyone who wishes to improve quality of whatever work he is doing, needs coaching. Not just for learning, but to keep doing things well and to advance further!

A word of caution the seniors about coaching as a performing professional !

You need to make sure that 

-your coach is a good person interested in your welfare,

-your coach need to be qualified enough and experienced. But not necessarily even higher than you are. But he should motivate you to perform better

-your coach can be of any age, even much younger than you are, but should have the temperament to analyse your weakness, confront you with them and discuss options to improve.

-your coach is not your friend or colleague, and a coach should be paid an adequate amount of remuneration for his job. Free service is not long lasting, especially if one sided.

As regards the age, there is no bar. Employing a coach is most useful if you want to improve as a professional or as an amateur. 

Remember, if you are young, your coach will be older; if you are elderly, your coach is likely to be younger than you are.

I know a 93 year old American violinist who still goes for a 40 year old teacher for music training! 

Hence coaching at all ages is useful for improvement of your work or passion !

Acknowledgement:Images from internet with thanks.