Sunday, November 10, 2013

Why do we wait till someone passes away before appreciating the good things?

Why do we wait till someone passes away before appreciating the good things?

Making one person smile can change the world – 
maybe not the whole world, 
but their world."

I hear about relatives, friends or close college mates who pass away … sometimes suddenly; only good things come to my mind...special things which I took for granted and never said to them.

And then you hear people say how good so and so has been, how talented he or she has been or how much useful he has been to the community.

It got me thinking- what is the point in anyone saying good things about anyone after demise as in my eulogy, except to be just formal.

It serves no one any  positive purpose when good things are said when they are least to the person who died. Certainly he or she won’t be there to hear it.

It is definitely good to tell people who are alive and kicking … how much you appreciate them, how well they are doing and that really makes the latter person perform better.

A friend of mine posted in FB how her colleague gave money unexpectedly for charity all of sudden, when it was badly needed… this surprised her. She thanked him profusely. This will indeed make the donor a better person and continue to carry on his good deeds. 

Certainly, when someone passes away, we should say good things about them…it is expected of us. It is a good time to remember and celebrate in memory of the deceased person. I am not denying this good habit and by all means it should continue!

But taking this further, all I am saying is that we must appreciate openly good things about the people close to us when they are still living (friends, neighbors, colleagues, for instance). This will bear fruit for the giver and the receiver. It cements a healthy relationship between people and makes others look up to both of them.

And I mean appreciating without expecting anything in return. Appreciation of any deed expecting a reward is plain flattery and this is not what I refer to.

A select group of people who actually practice this all the time are the musicians … who openly admire the other - singers or players. They congratulate each other; this certainly improves the team performance and good will.

After all, Christmas season is here- season of good will!